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After reading Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point, I see how society makes decisions and why certain trends catch on and some don’t.  It’s really a simple and fun read. 

But there’s a moment before the ‘tipping point,’ a moment when you realize that you are going to do something no matter what.  And it so happens that that moment is probably when you’re least thinking about doing it.  I have two examples.  One is studying for an exam.  I think everyone, including myself, knows when he or she is screwed because it’s too late to start studying.  And then we continue to think, omg, I’m screwed, I’m screwed.  And at that moment, we call someone, check our e-mail, or just do anything besides study.

But then soon afterwards, in a moment of lack of thinking, as in a moment you’re not actually thinking about how screwed you are, you just sit down and start reading.  You just do it.  And it’s only 15 minutes into studying you think to yourself, ‘How the hell did I get myself to study when I just felt so screwed/hopeless 15 minutes ago?’  [It's as if you have to not think about something to get it done.  And it's not like one of those things where you can say to yourself, 'I'm not going to think about it.'  Because by saying that to yourself, well, you're actually thinking about it!]

A second example is running or doing any form of physical exercise.  When you get up, you’re like shit, shit, I don’t want to run or don’t want to workout.  Then, after you use the bathroom, or do something else that grabs your attention for a moment, you trek down the stairs and strap on your shoes.  And it’s only 15 minutes into your workout you think to yourself, ‘How the hell did I get myself to workout when I felt like shit just 15 minutes ago?’  It’s as if your mind has to wander by itself to another thought without you consciously knowing that it went to another place in order to get yourself to do something that you really don’t want, but need to.

Enough of that.

It’s Friggin Awesome…

My friend Tanmay and I were watching the Patriots game yesterday in disbelief.  Maybe it’s Randy Moss.  Maybe it’s Brady, or Welker, or Stallworth.  Who knows?  But I just had to slap myself in order to realize that it’s friggin’ awesome to be a Boston Sports Fan.  And then, of course, later yesterday night, the Red Sox demolished the Indians.  Then I was in true ecstasy.  Sure, the Patriots destroyed an injury-depleted Dolphins and the Red Sox have double the money that the Indians do.  But still, it’s INCREDIBLE!  And there’s BC, who’s sure to get spanked at some point this season.  But right now, they’re #2 in the country with Matt Ryan as a potential Heisman candidate!  Of course, the Celtics are generating a lot of buzz with Garnett, Pierce, and Allen (let’s not forget Scot Pollard!), and the Bruins are playing pretty well.

I think in 10 years I’ll look back and wonder how awesome it was in 2007.  I’m sure the Patriots will suck after Brady retires and the Red Sox will suck after Manny hits the wall (he is getting old), but for right now, I’m that annoying Boston Sports Fan, and I’m going to enjoy every moment of it!

What I miss

I miss a sense of excitement. What is excitement? When you know you are the king. The man. On top. Sure, it’s nice to stay out of the limelight for a while and reflect, but after a while, you get the urge…to jump right into whatever. What the hell am I talking about? Simply put, I miss catching a touchdown while playing pickup football. I’ve been on the passing end of many a touchdown in pickup football. And as some of you who watch the NFL know, the QB simply raises his hands or jumps into the arms of another teammate when he throws a TD pass. The receiver, on the other hand, knows he is the man at that very moment. And that moment is the summation of a series of hard-earned moves that ultimately results in a sweet, sweet, payoff.

It’s funny that of all the things I miss right now, i.e. my family, friends, girlfriend, etc., I miss being on the receiving end of a touchdown more than anything. Maybe I can chalk it up to the fact that I’m in better shape that I have been in a couple of years. Not in terms of weight, but in terms of running endurance. [The runner is back, but don't worry, I've left the I'm-going-to-stop-at-random-people's-houses-and-take-a-shit persona back in 2004.]

Basically, I’ve tasted something now that I’m in better shape. Now I just want to do what I’ve wanted to do for a while.

What I can’t

I’m still a little bit taken aback by the butterfly effect. I am wrongly interpreting what its meaning is, so this is simply my take on it. If I’m bored in class one day, I occasionally wonder what would happen if, POOF, all of a sudden, I was planted at the doorsteps of Tyler Hall freshman year in college as my parents are driving away after dropping me off for the first time. What decisions would I make? Would I know I had been brought back in time? I think this way only because I do not know whether I would have chosen the same academic path I am currently pursuing. So when I begin to think about the ‘what-ifs’ of my past education, I know that the butterfly effect tells me that if I changed one thing, everything else in my life would change as well.

Since all decisions are made for seemingly random reasons, and sometimes, things don’t go the way you want them to a second time around, who knows, for example, if I would have had the same friends I made in college. I would never want to trade that no matter the cost. Who knows if the Patriots would have won the Super Bowl? Who knows if John Kerry would have lost the 2004 election, or heck, if he had even become the nominee?

I can’t continue to think about what-if. It would drive me to the point of becoming delusional. Unfortunately, the time-space continuum moves at the same speed no matter what. So if the past is infinitely far away or if it’s a arms length away, I do not know. Fortunately, the thought of losing what I have today in terms of my friends brings me back to reality when I do begin to drift away in terms of what educational path I might have chosen.

What would I have chosen, you might ask? I really do not know. I might have pursued a biology or chemistry degree instead of a biochem degree. I might have gone straight into finance and worked my way into a strategic consulting position. I mean, the only reason I am where I am now is that the prospect of graduate education holds a carrot stick for a better safety net for the future. And since I do not know when and where I would use that safety net, any path I could have chosen is as good as the one I am right now. So did I make the wrong decision in real life? Yes. Did I also make the right decision? Yes. Because whatever decision is made…is the right decision.

Philosophy out. Studying in.