The best of the best is right here

…probably not. 

My brain works in weird ways sometimes.  You’re thinking, “So does mine.”  Yah, I guess we all have our own oddities but that’s what makes us unique.  Even as publicly as I try to narrate my inner thoughts, there are some I simply can’t pen; not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t.

On a slightly related note, I think that the best writers are able to not only convey their feelings to an audience, but are also able to make a personal connection to whoever reads what they write.  I’ll never be able to consistently hit that level of writing but I know that there are times when more than a few people have connected with what I was writing about.

Anyhow, here are some things on my mind.  I roughly penned all of these ideas while at a three-hour biosafety training meeting…so keep that in mind.

(1) There have many times I’ve felt like writing but just can’t put two words together.  It’s happened to me in terms of this blog but has also happened in terms of graduate school applications (back in 2007) and other instances where I’ve needed to write something.  Of course I’m talking about ‘writer’s block’. 

There are two ways to attack it: (a) just drive through and write something, no matter how terrible, and edit it later or (b) just step back and let the writing flow naturally at a later time.  While I’ve definitely both quite a bit, I now have a slight preference for option ‘a’ because once you’ve actually completed something, you feel a sense of accomplishment.  In addition, you give yourself a baseline because you know what you’ve completed was done in a less-than-stellar mental state.  So you can take that and try again, knowing something ‘complete’ is already composed.

But, hey, I’m sure some of you vehemently disagree and would strongly prefer option ‘b’…

(2) I was not all that bored by today’s biosafety training (I mean, come on, they showed scenes from “Outbreak”…how cool is that?) but began to think about how to defeat boredom.  Most people would answer, ‘just ignore the speaker if he or she is not interesting’. 

However, I think of boredom during these kinds of times to remind of the great times I will be having with friends and family later on.  And I only wish that those times could slow down.  So I vow to try and never become bored because all that will do is frustrate me given the situation I am in and still changing nothing. 

And if I want to be able to ‘fast forward’ through the boring parts, how am I going to train myself to slow down and enjoy the more seemingly worthwhile moments?

And yes, I realize the complete hypocrisy in saying that we should try to make the best of ‘boring’ meetings while doodling/penning random idea in my notebook.

(3) Not a joke.  This always happens to me.  I see a long line for something…say a food truck, clothing store, CVS, etc.  I jump in the back of the line thinking, ‘Yah it’s bad, but I feel bad for the suckers who’re going to get caught behind me.’  Then the line moves and moves towards the counter…but somehow no one is standing behind me.  WHY AM I ALWAYS THE LAST PERSON IN A LINE?!  That’s my simple question.

(4) Do all Japanese MLB pitchers have the exact same throwing motion?  Honestly, if you were to somehow blur out the faces of MLB pitchers and show me random pitcher videos, I could definitely tell you who is Japanese and who is not.  My two prime examples: Hiroki Kuroda and Daisuke Matsuzaka.  Watch and agree.   

[It's not as if I can discriminate a Dominican pitcher from a Cuban one just by their motion.  Weird.]

That’s all for now.  Much love.

Naturally following the line of burrito and diet soda rankings comes The Last Meal.  Okay, so it’s not completely a natural progression, but it follows the motif of culinary concoctions.  [I apologize to anyone who knows/knew someone on death row.  I sincerely mean no offense but am using this 'last meal' idea to relay a concept I want to get across.]

My simple question is: You are to have one last meal on Earth.  What will it consist of?  Imagine that you are limited to five items and have an unlimited appetite and budget.  Seriously.  Unlimited.

I’ll give you my last meal but am more interested in hearing yours, even if you tell me about this ‘delicious T-bone steak’ you crave

Post below in the comments, on Facebook, on GTalk, etc. 

My Last Meal

[All of the below to be made vegan]
1. Macaroni and cheese
Straight up Velveeta-style.  In other words, soft shells with lots of gooey cheese sauce.
2. Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream
Creamy vanilla with chocolate chips and lots of cookie dough.  As in, make it rain cookie dough.
3. Cinnamon Toast Crunch and soymilk
There is something magical about pouring the first bowl of CTC from a freshly opened box.  I think Wendell is inside of the box blowing out cinnamon and sugar magic dust upon opening the box.  None of the succeeding bowls ever match up.  And that soymilk better be creamy and delicious Silk Vanilla. 
4. My mom’s bhinda/bhataka shaak (cut, cooked, and spiced okra/potatoes)
You think I would leave out home cooking?  Bhinda/bhataka is the best combination this side of Brady/Moss.  And my mom’s version?  Unbeatable.
—
I’ll admit.  After the top four, there is a huge dropoff.  I had to struggle to think about #5.  Unfortunately, two #5 ideas came to mind. 
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5. (Tie): Root Beer - in a frosted mug
A tall glass of ice cold root beer is unbeatable.  Most of you think that root beer is nasty.  Sorry.  Not this customer here.  Pour me a cold one.
5. (Tie): Jamaican Jerk Seitan - from Horizons Gourmet in Philadelphia
The second of my #5 ideas is from one of the best restaurants I’ve ever been to.  Horizons is ludicriously expensive but oh-so-good.  Their Jamaican Jerk Seitan is incredible…spiced and seasoned to perfection.  For those unfamiliar with’ jerk’, Wiki says, “Jerk seasoning principally relies upon two items: allspice (called “pimento” in Jamaica) and Scotch bonnet peppers (among the hottest peppers on the Scoville scale). Other ingredients include cloves, cinnamon, scallions, nutmeg, thyme, garlic.”

A quick look into death row inmates’ last meal selections reveals some interesting historical tidbits:

(A) PETA requested that Oklahoma City bomber Tim McVeigh eat a vegan last meal in order to prevent further destruction of life.  While prison officials scoffed at the idea, McVeigh personally wrote back stating that plants have circulatory systems and therefore the capacity to feel pain (true).  Therefore, humans should just accept their place on the food chain (um, okay).  For his last meal, he chose two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream.  Not vegan, but still a vegetarian meal; surprising, given his hunting background.
(B) Philip Workman, a Nashville native who killed a policeman during a botched robbery, did not request a last meal, but instead asked that a large vegetarian pizza be sent to a homeless person.  His request was denied but once it was made public, thousands of vegetarian pizzas were donated by individuals to Nashville food shelters.

Other interesting facts:
*Alcohol and tobacco are generally not allowed but exceptions have been made. 
*Many times, last meals are limited to what is available within the prison system. 
*Some states have a $40 limit on a last meal. 
*Maryland does not grant a ‘last meal’. 
*A look into fictional and real last meals does not reveal too much of a difference between the two. 

We’ve now covered me, two criminals, and some other footnotes.  What about you…